1 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:07,089 - First playoff game of the season and... 2 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,049 (opens can) ...what's that? 3 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,340 That's Joanne opening a beer before the game. 4 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:15,055 That is the taste of knowing 5 00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,682 you got the game in the bag. 6 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:20,477 We are playing the Real Housewives of Mississauga. 7 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:24,857 And um, yeah, they're a Brovaries favourite. 8 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,484 Uh... yeah, you're gonna see why. 9 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:31,530 (Boris): They're just like the ladies on that TV show. 10 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,282 Who doesn't love a MILF? 11 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:37,161 Hi, Kim! You look gorgeous, as always. 12 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,913 - I'm the queen bee of Mississauga. 13 00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,166 I run the hive. 14 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,084 (Team): We love you, Kim! 15 00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,336 - Of course you do. 16 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:49,549 But I will sting when the fakes comes buzzing. 17 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:56,306 (campy theme music) 18 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,373 (marker clacking) 19 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,333 (Joanne): They always let us win. 20 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,252 Uh, they love us 'cause to them, we're basically boys, 21 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,421 so we get to skirt the whole female competition thing. 22 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,673 Plus, we've got this, like, confusing appeal 23 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,675 'cause of the gay thing. 24 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,551 They love flirting with us! 25 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:37,429 So, I told the team, lean way in today. 26 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,514 - Eat you up. 27 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,891 - God, I'm getting good at this coaching thing. 28 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,476 Look at that. Look at that! 29 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,269 (Zari): Since when do you bring us gifts? 30 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,854 - I always bring you gifts. I brought you 31 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,022 those buttons last week. 32 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,273 - Yeah, but then you told us 33 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,684 to hand them out at our poor people jobs, or else. 34 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,569 - There she is. 35 00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,364 Kim! 36 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,281 - Oh, my God. - Hi. 37 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,075 (Barb): My girly! Hey! 38 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,454 What is up? What is up? (laughs) 39 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,665 (Barb): This is so great. 40 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,543 I was uh, reading your newsletter the other day 41 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:10,129 and I heard that lashes are back in. 42 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,422 Which is so funny because uh, 43 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:14,007 I always say that eyelashes 44 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:15,509 are the windshield wipers to the soul. 45 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:16,635 (Kim fake laughs) 46 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,137 - We're in the middle of a game. 47 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,930 - Oh, of course! No, I know, 'cause I sponsor 48 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,391 the te- team. 49 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:23,809 - Seriously? 50 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,310 - We love Barb! 51 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,022 - Uh, uh... Mel, can you... 52 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:33,193 So, uh, question, is anybody thirsty? 53 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:35,612 - Me! - No. 54 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:36,947 So, anybody? 55 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,491 (laughs) Anybody. Don't be shy. 56 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,493 Anybody? 57 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,204 I know you love a luxurious white, Kimmy. 58 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:47,166 Which makes sense because you are a luxurious white. 59 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,918 (Barb laughs) 60 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,879 - Did she say that? 61 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,424 - Guys, did Barb sleep with one of their pool boys or something? 62 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,509 (laughing): Let's play ball! 63 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,428 (quirky music) 64 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,680 - In Mississauga, there's a pecking order. 65 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:05,059 If you cross Kim Callaway, you'd better look out 66 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,644 because she is not one to be played with. 67 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,855 Trust me. 68 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:12,816 - Your team is going down, Barberetti. 69 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:15,027 (laughing): You look great! 70 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,863 - Stupid bitch. - Like tight. 71 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,448 (ball cracks) - Yeah! 72 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,408 (Lee): Yes, Bita, great run! 73 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,202 (Housewifes cheering) (Joanne): Boris! 74 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,705 (both teams cheering) - Yes! 75 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,417 - Why are they trying to kick our asses all of a sudden? 76 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,294 This was supposed to be our cakewalk game. 77 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:35,214 - Something's up. Weird rich lady stuff. 78 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,634 Gotta turn this around. - Yeah. 79 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,640 (Barb muttering) (Mel): Go, B! 80 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,472 (Mel): Nice, Zari. 81 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,433 - Barb, you okay? Your energy's kinda off. 82 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:49,645 - Yeah, sure. Um, no look, listen the-the-the 83 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,731 campaign train is pulling into the station, okay? 84 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,567 And I have been greasing Kim Callaway's wheels because 85 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:58,529 I need to get a ticket to her charity gala tomorrow. 86 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,406 - What's so special about the gala? 87 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,616 - I need to go to the gala so that I can impress her, 88 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,077 so that she can then endorse me in her stupid newsletter, 89 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,413 "The Missus Saga". It's dumb. 90 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,581 Nobody gets onto city council without her approval. 91 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,375 So, I'm a little, you know... 92 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,586 - Kim Callaway is secret Mississauga power cabal? 93 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,214 - Yeah, and unfortunately, she frickin' hates me. 94 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,299 - Nice wine, Try Hard Barb! 95 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,467 - Maybe you should get your team 96 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:21,927 to try a little harder, Barb! 97 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,930 - Why are they calling you "Try Hard Barb"? 98 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,850 - Me? (sputters) I don't know. 99 00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,893 - Uh, maybe 'cause you brought seven different 100 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,563 kinds of wine glasses to a baseball diamond? 101 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,441 - No, it's- listen. Come here. It's not that. It's... 102 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:39,237 I know why they hate me, okay? And I get it. 103 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,949 I once stole a very important man from Kim. 104 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,951 - What? - Yes. Okay? 105 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:50,330 I was throwing an event and I was, like, desperate for him. 106 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:52,374 I-I-I needed him. 107 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,043 - You stole her husband? 108 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,587 - Husband? God! Gross. Rich? No. He's disgusting. 109 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:58,922 He's an idiot, too. No, her caterer. 110 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:01,885 And now I'm paying the price. 111 00:05:01,988 --> 00:05:07,181 (Joanne): We got this. (Sasha): You got it, you got it. 112 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,725 - Hey. 113 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,776 - Tate. 114 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,439 We uh, met in the line at Bang Bang Ice Cream. 115 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,568 We had a little bang bang, and then you screamed. 116 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,154 Yeah, I sneeze when I come. 117 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,114 - Tate. Tate! Right. - Yeah. 118 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,867 - Yeah, that's uh... ahem, uh, whatcha doin' here? 119 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,036 - Never miss one of mamacita's playoff games. 120 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,664 - Oh, mamacita. Oh. 121 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,956 - Mommy! 122 00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:33,999 - Hi, darling! 123 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,050 - Hi! 124 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:38,128 - Uh, K-Kim? Kim's your mom? 125 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,713 - Yeah, I'm a mama's boy. (Ann chokes) 126 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,465 Anyways, I thought I'd pop by 127 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,343 'cause I wanted to ask you something very important. 128 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,220 - Very important? 129 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,638 Oh, my- 130 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,264 - Will you go to my mom's gala with me? 131 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:52,976 - Oh, my God. Tate, get up. Get up. Get up! 132 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:54,937 Uh, that's so- so nice of you. That's really sweet. 133 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,856 Ahem, I think it was a one-time thing, though. 134 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,484 And- and maybe it's best if- if we don't say anything 135 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,611 to your mom about- about what happened. 136 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,989 'Cause uh, keep it special for us. 137 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,532 - Okay. Yeah. Okay. 138 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:09,368 - Okay, I got- I gotta go. Uh... 139 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,537 (Boris): Ann! (Ann): I'm coming! 140 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,706 (Boris): Let's go! You have a marijuana problem. 141 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,708 (Ann): Yeah, it's a problem. I got a problem. 142 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,711 - Barb? She got kicked out of the nest. I mean- 143 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,964 - Uh... sorry, could you just- you're in my... interview. 144 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,551 Uh, Barb's acting very weird. Even for Barb. 145 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,303 Apparently the Housewives hate her. 146 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,682 And uh, yeah, I don't know. 147 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,894 We need this win but Barb's feeling like a liability. So... 148 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:41,484 If you wanna go there it's fine. Just zoom in. 149 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,029 (Joanne): I know how to fix this. 150 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,447 Team. Team. 151 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,073 Real Housewives usually let us win, 152 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,617 but today, they are rage playing us, okay? 153 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:54,204 So, we gotta go "bro mode" or the playoffs are done-zo. 154 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,497 - And by "bro mode" you mean? 155 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,333 - I'm so glad you asked. Sasha, playlist. 156 00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,459 Ann, shotgun. Mel, flirting. 157 00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,668 - Yes! - Boris, punch. 158 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,171 - On it. Bro mode on three. 159 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:05,174 One, two, three! (all): Bro mode! 160 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,759 ? 161 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,344 - Come on, bros! 162 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,054 - Yeah! - Woo! 163 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,055 - Yeah! 164 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,851 - Come on, Kim, we know you love this song! 165 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:20,522 Ladies, who wants some of Boris's homemade fruit punch? 166 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,608 - Go Kimmy, it's your birthday. 167 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,693 - Don't get used to this, Joanne. 168 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,070 - Hands up if you want some? 169 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,780 (cheering) Okay! 170 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,241 Go, Bita! Go, Bita! Go, Bita! 171 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,243 (ball cracks) (cheering) 172 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,413 - Oh, no! Ladies... 173 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,165 he got me! 174 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:41,418 - Ancient recipe. Stomped on the melons myself. 175 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,129 Shake it, ladies! (cheering) 176 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,714 Go, Joanne. Go, Joanne. 177 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,425 - Bases loaded, Brovaries! Look alive! 178 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,968 (Barb): Kim! Hey, Kim! 179 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,513 If you like it then you better put a swing on it. 180 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,014 (Joanne): Barb, pipe down. I need 181 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,974 all the concentration I can get with this 182 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,393 knockout in front of me. 183 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,186 - Don't you go easy on me, Joanne. 184 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,562 And Ann... 185 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,981 I think this one is coming to you, 186 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,440 you little minx. - Mmm! 187 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,069 - Keep your eyes on her, ladies. She's a live one. 188 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,488 (ball cracks) 189 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,948 (all): Yeah!! 190 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:13,492 (Kim laughs) (players cheering) 191 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,160 - Great game. - Oh! 192 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,287 (Boris): Ladies! - Bring it in. 193 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,706 - Great game. 194 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,250 (all chattering and laughing) 195 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,627 - Okay... 196 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,714 Boo! Boo! Boo! 197 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,674 The Housewives were totally robbed. Redo! 198 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,260 I basically own them so I can say whatever I want. 199 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,386 (Joanne): Barb, simmer down. 200 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,596 - Barb, aren't you exhausted? 201 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,140 Always trying so hard. 202 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,267 - Where'd you get your lashes done, Barb? 203 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,560 Need to know where not to go. 204 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,645 - If Barb was a movie, it'd be called 205 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,689 Try Hard starring Bruce Willis. 206 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,774 - I see dead people. - Different movie. 207 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:50,362 You listen to me. Neither you, nor your wine, are chill. 208 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,867 And we won't be seeing either of them at my gala tomorrow. 209 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,703 - I am chill. I am... the chill. 210 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,789 - Dump it, girls. 211 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,332 (gasps) - No, no, no, no! 212 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,500 (wine splashing) 213 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:06,254 (all shouting) - That is good wine! 214 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,050 - Oh! - So wasteful! 215 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,593 (Kim): Let's go. 216 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:13,761 Was fun ladies. 217 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,304 (Joanne): I'm... Yeah. 218 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,513 - Cheers. 219 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,432 - You've got a lot to learn, Barb. 220 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,684 (Boris): Semi-finals, motherfuckers! 221 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,519 (Joanne): You guys... - What's up? 222 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,938 Come here. You guys, come. 223 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,523 Come. 224 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,817 Hey, Barb. - Hey. 225 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,694 Well, I'm just a lost cause try hard. 226 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,363 I might as well kiss the gala goodbye 227 00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,864 and just quit the race altogether. 228 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,574 - Hey, quitting's stupid. 229 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,034 - I don't get it! 230 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:40,662 Y-y-you guys charmed them into letting you win. 231 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,790 And-and-and I don't understand. 232 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,250 Why don't they like me? Why-why do they like you? 233 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,627 - 'Cause we're their bros. 234 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,087 Bros before hoes. - That's right. 235 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,963 - There's actually nothing wrong with being a hoe. 236 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,632 The patriarchy once- (Joanne): Okay, Zari, not now. 237 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:55,052 Okay, listen, you want the Housewives to like you? 238 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,011 You gotta loosen up. 239 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,222 You gotta embrace your inner Brovarie. 240 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,808 If they don't think about you as competition, 241 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,518 they're gonna let you win. 242 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,103 - I don't wanna be some loosey-goosey bro. 243 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,105 I don't want my life peaking in the middle. 244 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,065 I wanna be on top. - Hey, me too! 245 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,191 - Hey-ho! 246 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,111 - What? 247 00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:14,238 So, I'm just supposed to start using natural deodorant 248 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,032 and drink piss beer like you? 249 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,534 - Yeah. - Fuck yeah. 250 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,870 - Yeah. - Ugggh! 251 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,456 Well, okay, if you think coaching me into 252 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,252 being a weird... slob will help, 253 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,294 I guess I could try it. 254 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,714 - It would be an honour. 255 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:34,550 We're gonna Queer Eye ya. - Yeah! 256 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,386 - Yes! That'd be so fun. 257 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,846 - First order of bro-ness, 258 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,639 we need to get you a ticket to that gala. 259 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,974 - Yes. 260 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:46,103 - Ann... I think you might have a connection there. 261 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,731 - No. No, I don't. 262 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,441 - You sure? 263 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:51,650 (whispering): Yes, I'm sure. 264 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,819 - You missed the ball like, three times. 265 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,112 - Okay, shut up, dude. 266 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,197 - Hey, Tate. Ahem... 267 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,992 hi. I uh... - Here. 268 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,493 - Oh. 269 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,787 That's so... so um... 270 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,789 listen, can you do something for me? 271 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,000 - Yes! Anything, my Khaleesi. 272 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,711 - Um... about that gala invitation... 273 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,296 (chuckles awkwardly) 274 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,339 (sighs) 275 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,215 (playful music) 276 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,010 - So, Ann and I managed to get Barb a ticket to the gala. 277 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,054 Uh, but Ann has to go now, too. 278 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,805 - Which I hate you for. (Joanne): This is called 279 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,724 working the angles. 280 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,142 It is a key to good coaching. 281 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,853 So, you just gotta work outside your field of expertise, 282 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:31,940 which is how I wrangled a nice two-for-one with Kim's son. 283 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,485 - You? That was me! I did that. 284 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,695 - Who coached you? (Barb): I hate it! 285 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,405 (all): Come on, Barb! Let's see! 286 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,615 - Let's see. 287 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,201 (gasps) - Wow! 288 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,244 - Yes! 289 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,496 - Looks amazing! 290 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:49,416 - No, this feels wrong. And-and I smell like popcorn. 291 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,626 - That's the suit that I wore 292 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,670 to my nephew's short film premiere. 293 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:55,298 VIP Cineplex. Fancy. 294 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,968 - Oh, my God. Kim Callaway's never gonna endorse me 295 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,097 if I look like a lesb- if I... look fluid. 296 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,681 (Joanne): Look, look, you gotta trust us. 297 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:05,849 Didn't you see what happened when we 298 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,309 turned on the bro charm? - Mm-hmm. 299 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,144 - Housewives were putty in our hands. 300 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,438 - All right, can I at least have my lashes back? 301 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,815 I feel naked without them. 302 00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:15,109 - No, there's a centipede trying to fuck them in the sink. 303 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,653 - My tits, they're just, you know, so far apart. 304 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,863 My shoes, I'm so low to the ground 305 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,699 like I'm from Munchkin Land, like you. 306 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,742 (doorbell chimes) - What does that even mean? 307 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,952 (Ann): I'll get that. 308 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,537 - Okay, working another angle here. 309 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,122 How do you build an outfit? 310 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:31,417 - Okay, well, usually I find the highest heels I can, 311 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,501 I put those on. 312 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:35,462 Then I grab a skirt and um, 313 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,298 make sure that it hugs my moneymaker, which is my ass, 314 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,466 because it's tight. 315 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,052 And then I put on a power top. I love a power top. 316 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,637 - Me too. 317 00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,514 - Got it. Um... 318 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,765 is that you? 319 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,559 - It doesn't matter if it's me or not. 320 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,311 It's whatever version of me Kim Callaway approves of, 321 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,480 so that that bitch can start opening some doors. 322 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,857 - Well, guess what? 323 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:57,943 Brovaries are in the business of kicking down doors. 324 00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,572 Hence the shoes. - Okay, so... 325 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,908 - What's inside? - A little special arrival. 326 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,660 - Yeah, let's see. 327 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,495 - I'll do the honours. - Me too. 328 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,164 - Okay. Oh... 329 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,623 - Ooh! 330 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,250 - Oh, my God! 331 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:18,589 "Can't wait to see this on you. And then on my floor. Tate." 332 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:20,340 (Joanne laughing) (Barb): Tate? 333 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,592 (Sasha): Sexy! 334 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:22,801 - Tate Callaway, Kim's son? 335 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,927 - Yeah. - He's 19. 336 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,471 - What?! - Yeah. 337 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,182 - You didn't like, actually sleep with that kid, did you? 338 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,225 - Two weeks ago I was on a booze cruise 339 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,979 and I had sex with Kim Callaway. 340 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,106 And then, couple days later, 341 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:39,068 I... hooked up with a young man named Tate. 342 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:42,654 - Mommy and son? Is that even legal? 343 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,740 - Okay, it didn't happen at the same time. 344 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,325 - Do they both sneeze when they come? 345 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,577 - The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, kids. 346 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:51,163 Adults. Adults. 347 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,249 Nineteen is legal, though. 348 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,586 (sighing) 349 00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,006 - Cigarette? - Yeah, that's right. 350 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:05,386 - Your suit, it's uh... 351 00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,637 it's doing things to me. 352 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,389 (chuckles) 353 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:11,183 - Boris, I got- I have to focus on bro mode tonight, all right? 354 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,134 You're a walking distraction. - How 'bout one cheeky puff? 355 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,485 - No, go home. Seriously. 356 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,821 Go to your house! - Okay, yes, I'm going. 357 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,281 Have fun. - Thank you. 358 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,452 (exhales) Hot. Weird. 359 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:35,082 - Okay. Ta-da! 360 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,042 - Okay, here we go. Oh, my God! 361 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,377 No, no, no. - What? 362 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,087 - No. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's all this? 363 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,755 - You look so beautiful! - No, I'm sorry. 364 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,090 No, it's too hot. Kim and Tate, 365 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,425 they're gonna be all over me. 366 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,927 Oh, no you gotta, you gotta ugg me up. 367 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,054 Glow me down. Jesus Chr- 368 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,265 I don't know about th- I- no. 369 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,851 Joanne, I'm not coming. I can't do this. 370 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,061 - No time to ugg you up. Get in the car. 371 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,689 - Okay. Oh, my God, I'm so hot. 372 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,274 Where are my shoes? 373 00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:03,570 ? 374 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,116 (breathing nervously) 375 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,744 (Joanne): All right, get in here. 376 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,454 - Yeah. - Game plan. 377 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:16,915 I'm sorry, Ann, can I just say you look absolutely incredible? 378 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,292 - Ugh, I know, right? God! 379 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:20,794 I hate to admit it, but the kid's got- the man- 380 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,379 Tate- Tate's got good taste. 381 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:25,132 - I don't see it. - Sorry. Game plan. 382 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,259 - Yep. - Barb, you're gonna roll up. 383 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,886 Gonna work the room, shake hands 384 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,304 like you mean it. - Yeah. 385 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,473 - And you're gonna lock down that selfie with Kim. 386 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:33,724 - Yep. - What uh, 387 00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,142 what's the topic? What's the opener? 388 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:38,354 - Okay. I'm thinking diamonds. Uh, menopause. 389 00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,189 - No, no, no, no, no! Think bro mode. 390 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,066 - Right, bro mode. - Impersonations. 391 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,400 Close-up magic. Oh! 392 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,443 - Who's funny? 393 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,904 - Uh, well Joanne- oh yeah, this is good. 394 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,739 Wait for this. - Book of party jokes. 395 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,074 - Oh, yeah. - Okay. 396 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,992 - Got me through many a high school dance. It's good. 397 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,161 Now remember, you wanna be unforgettable. 398 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,829 Give them a show they'll never forget. 399 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,582 - Okay. I can do this. 400 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,125 - You can! 401 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,086 I'm gonna be right behind you every step of the way. 402 00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,129 - Uh, no. No, you stay in the car. 403 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,048 I can't have anymore distractions tonight. 404 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:09,927 - Yoo-hoo!! Barbie!! Hey, hey! Look! I got a job! 405 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:12,513 We are not done Queer Eye-ing you yet, missy! 406 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:13,597 - Boris. 407 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,433 - Joanne's Karamo, I'm Antoni from the kitchen, 408 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,810 and Ann is Chandler. 409 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,728 - Chandler? - From Friends. 410 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,147 - Oh, yeah. - Well, well, well... 411 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,359 looks like you Try Hard Barb'd your way in after all. 412 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,778 - Barb, your outfit is so... brave. 413 00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,571 (Housewives laugh) 414 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:30,948 - Do I smell popcorn? 415 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:33,242 - I can't do this. I can't. 416 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,494 - Do you want me to cyberbully them? 417 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,204 I'm gonna go put something in the pie. 418 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,206 Ladies, I've got pie! 419 00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:41,583 (Barb): Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Barb Barberetti. 420 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:44,169 Running for city councillor. A lot of people describe me 421 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,964 as a really funny, small bitch, 422 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,382 which I think wow, 423 00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,342 that's the type of person I would want to lead. 424 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,177 (Tate): Uh, do you guys know if you've seen a girl? 425 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,304 She's- she's this tall, very beautiful. 426 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,890 Wearing a dress kinda looks like that colour. 427 00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,100 - I tell ya though, 428 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:00,018 I don't wanna make you feel weird, but normally 429 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,771 I wear a way better bra. 430 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,857 - Nope. No, no, no, no. (exhales) 431 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:08,068 What if Barb's drowning in there? Huh? 432 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:12,072 I know Barb is mean and-and condescending, 433 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,657 and-and hiding herself under layers 434 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,492 of misogyny and capitalism, 435 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:18,662 but goddamn it, she is a Brovarie. 436 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:19,955 And she has worked damn hard, 437 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,708 and she deserves to be on city council. 438 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,668 Ah, I gotta get in there. 439 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:28,297 My body is craving that sweet, sweet chaos management, 440 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:29,840 you know? 441 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:32,843 Hey! What size are you? 442 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,887 (Boris): Shit. 443 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,430 Fuck. 444 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,058 - Oh! Thank God I've found you. (Boris): Yes. 445 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,642 - Oh, okay, well I've successfully avoided 446 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,062 both mother and child so far. - Mm-hmm. 447 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,730 - I'm just gonna stay here with you though 'cause 448 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,024 if Kim finds out that I had sex with her teenage son, 449 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,484 she's gonna send me straight to jail. 450 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,195 - Oh! Did I ever tell you that I almost went to jail once 451 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:52,780 because you are only allowed to have 452 00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:55,824 four pet rats in Canada? - That sounds reasonable. 453 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,368 - So stupid. - Well, eh. 454 00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:59,036 - Do you want one of these spring rolls? 455 00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:00,371 I've been working on them for an hour. 456 00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:01,497 No, thank you. I'm a little nauseous. 457 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,248 Actually, I have a question for you. 458 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,459 - Oh, yes, Annie! A little bonding moment. 459 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,211 Let's have it! - Yeah, listen. 460 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,588 Do you think I'm a sex addict? 461 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,508 - Um... well, uh, how many times a week would you say 462 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,510 you're having sex? Like, zero to three times, 463 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:17,012 three to five times, or more like ten times? 464 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,514 - Uh, it depends on the week. 465 00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:21,600 - Okay. Do you find yourself having sex mostly socially 466 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:25,270 with others, or is it, a lot of time, is it alone? 467 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,022 - Yeah, with others. Definitely. 468 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,524 - That's good. And um, 469 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:31,610 do you need sex to get out of bed in the morning? 470 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,113 - No. Wait... 471 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,656 where did you get these questions from? 472 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:40,494 - On the back of this beer can. I just swapped sex for beer. 473 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,955 It also says "19 . Drink responsibly." 474 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:45,124 And "Enjoy with water." - Okay. Mm-hmm. 475 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,834 - That's applicable. - Well... 476 00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:47,751 - To the sex addiction stuff. 477 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,461 Oh, hello. Ha, ha! 478 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,088 (Tate): You're a knockout! 479 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,382 I knew it! That dress fits you like a sock. 480 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,468 How come no one ever says that? Socks fit really well. 481 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,430 - Yeah. Yeah, how did you know my size? 482 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:01,474 - I have a photographic memory. - Mm-hmm. 483 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,184 Hmm, you're- 484 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,519 - So, do you wanna make the rounds? 485 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,521 Maybe we can make my mom's newsletter 486 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:10,941 as this month's Mr. and Mrs. Sauga. 487 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,152 - Wow, what-what an idea. 488 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:16,280 And I-I think I'll um- I'll meet you out there. 489 00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:19,783 - You fancy a drink? I can order those. 'Cause I turned 19. 490 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,410 - Nineteen. - Nice work. 491 00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,162 - Yeah, that's right! That's- I'll... 492 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,580 I'll have whatever you're having. 493 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,041 - Two buttery nipples coming right up. M'lady. 494 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:31,253 - Oh, nice. Yeah, she's been talking about you all night. 495 00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:33,464 I know, she's really looking forward 496 00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:35,132 to after the gala, you know. 497 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,175 - Shut up! (laughs) 498 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,843 - Oh! (Boris): Joanne! 499 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,094 - I snuck in. 500 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,721 - You're supposed to be waiting in the car! 501 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:41,930 - But I- - No, Joanne, 502 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,182 I am the kitchen Queer Eye. 503 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,059 My domain. You're not allowed to be here. 504 00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,935 - No, I can't help myself, guys. 505 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,395 I'm jonesing for a coaching. 506 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:50,814 - Do you need coaching to get out of bed in the morning? 507 00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:51,940 - What? - Boris. Nothing. 508 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,776 - How's Barb doing? - Oh, my God. 509 00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:56,528 She's doing so good, Joanne. She's- yeah, she's jingling, 510 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,113 she's mingling, you know. Kissing hands, 511 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,782 shaking babies. I think maybe 512 00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:01,700 people's princess. - Yeah! I gotta say, 513 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,327 I think she's really killin' it out there. 514 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,162 - Really? - Oh, big time. 515 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,373 - Coaching you guys is in my bones! 516 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,917 I'm gonna get out there. I'm gonna see my girl in action. 517 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,670 I wanna see her do Niagara Falls! 518 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:13,754 - Um, no. 519 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,964 - Joanne, actually I think you should stay- 520 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,758 - She's gonna fuck this up. 521 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:18,592 ? 522 00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:20,427 (Barb): I don't sponsor marathons. 523 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,429 'Cause they always take the money and run. 524 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,182 (laughs) 525 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:27,559 - Who knew you were so funny? 526 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,979 (Bita): I knew. (Kim): Oh, shut up, Bita. 527 00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:32,523 You know, I should introduce you to my spinning instructor. 528 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:33,857 (Barb): Oh, spinning! Yeah. 529 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,151 I'm pretty good at spinning around in an office chair, 530 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,319 if you know I mean. 531 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,570 - Hey, hey, I said no filming. 532 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,031 Get outta here. Put it down. Put it away. 533 00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:43,200 (Barb laughing): Spin class. 534 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:45,327 It's making me thirsty just talking about it. 535 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,454 Hey uh, get me a water, sir. 536 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,248 - Barb. Barb. - Oh. Oh. 537 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,708 - It's Joanne. 538 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,042 - Yeah, hey. 539 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:53,752 - Pi�ce de resistance. 540 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,546 - What? - The book. 541 00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,256 It's time for Niagara Falls. 542 00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,591 - Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Showtime. 543 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,926 Ahem. 544 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:04,972 Hey, uh, does anybody want to see my Niagara Falls impression? 545 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,265 - I do! 546 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:09,852 - You're all aboard the Maid of the Mist! 547 00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:11,895 (Housewives shrieking) 548 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:14,023 - Yeah! 549 00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,774 Woohoo! 550 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,943 (laughs) 551 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:18,994 Ah. 552 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:23,115 - Get... out! 553 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,450 Get out! 554 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:27,953 - Terrible advice, Joanne! Niagara Falls impression?! 555 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,581 See, this is what I get for listening to you idiots!! 556 00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:34,376 - Barb, um, come and have a small pie. 557 00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:36,545 - This is bad. - I think you would enjoy it. 558 00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:38,297 It's got a little crispy finish, rosemary. 559 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,049 - Niagara Falls? - Shit. 560 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:41,258 Yeah, it- come on, Ann! 561 00:21:41,259 --> 00:21:42,801 - That's advanced! - That's my move! 562 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,595 - Listen, you don't have to pretend 563 00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:46,013 to be like the Brovaries. 564 00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,931 The Housewives don't like us 565 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,016 because we go bro mode, 566 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:51,810 they like us because we are real. 567 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:52,937 You just have to be you. 568 00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:55,774 And what are you? 569 00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:01,820 - I'm Barb Barberetti, and I'm a bitch. 570 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,238 (Kim): Barb!! 571 00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:05,492 - Um... - Where is she? 572 00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:10,245 - Not only are you not getting in my newsletter, 573 00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:13,123 but I'm gonna make sure that you lose 574 00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:15,626 your stupid campaign so badly 575 00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:18,170 that you're gonna wanna move to Ottawa! 576 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,880 (Joanne gasps) 577 00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:22,216 - All right. Listen up, you wine o'clock crazy-eyed, 578 00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:24,051 new money freak. (gasping) 579 00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:26,679 I am sorry about the chef thing. 580 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,472 And I am sorry that I sprayed you with champagne. 581 00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:29,640 - Hmm! - Okay? 582 00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:32,184 But I also know that ya fucked Ann! 583 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:33,602 - You told her? 584 00:22:33,603 --> 00:22:35,771 - Having sex outside of marriage is very bad! 585 00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:37,314 (huffs) 586 00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:38,691 - So, here's what's gonna happen. 587 00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:40,025 We are gonna take the picture 588 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,444 and you will endorse me in your stinking newsletter, 589 00:22:42,445 --> 00:22:44,446 my whole campaign, on the home page. 590 00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:46,907 - And if I don't? - Oh, I'll tell your husband, 591 00:22:46,908 --> 00:22:49,076 that's right, you had filthy booze cruise sex 592 00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:53,372 with a hobbitty bartender who smelled bad. Shitty Ann. 593 00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:55,499 - Okay. - Take the photo, Ann!! 594 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,501 - Oh, okay. Yeah, I got it. 595 00:22:57,502 --> 00:23:00,754 - You booze cruise screwed my mommy? 596 00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:02,047 - Uh... - What was that, Tater Tot? 597 00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:04,508 - Two weeks ago, Ann was having sex with me. 598 00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:07,428 - What? You were having sex with me two weeks ago. 599 00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:09,805 - What? You were having sex with us at the same time? 600 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:12,475 - What you were in a threesome with our son? 601 00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:16,020 - That's bad. - Tell him, Kim! 602 00:23:16,021 --> 00:23:18,063 He deserves to know. 603 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:20,983 - Not now, Bita. 604 00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:23,527 - He's not your son. 605 00:23:23,528 --> 00:23:25,070 (everyone gasps) 606 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,613 - I told you that in confidence! 607 00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:27,781 (husband): I can't believe you. (Boris): Ann! 608 00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:28,699 (Kim's husband): You're dead to me! 609 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,910 - Are you the dad? - No! 610 00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:33,912 - Barb unlocked her inner Barb 611 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:37,624 in a way that I never could have coaxed out of her. 612 00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:41,712 Almost like she coached me to be a better coach. 613 00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:45,466 Well, anyway, we are proud of our girl. 614 00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:46,800 She sealed the deal! 615 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:50,054 (Sasha): Oh, wow! - Looking good! 616 00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:52,347 - I can't lie, you guys do look kinda cute together. 617 00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:53,974 - Oh, you know, I can't believe 618 00:23:53,975 --> 00:23:55,642 his mom is endorsing you guys as a couple. 619 00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:57,895 (Zari): I can't believe she's endorsing Barb. 620 00:23:57,896 --> 00:23:58,812 (Sasha): Wow! 621 00:23:58,813 --> 00:24:02,775 - Okay, so who would you rather, Tate or Kim? 622 00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:04,818 (sighing): Don't ask me that. 623 00:24:04,819 --> 00:24:07,237 - Come on! Come on, gun to your head! 624 00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:11,034 ? 625 00:24:11,084 --> 00:24:15,634 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0